So, one of my best friends is coming from Seattle today on an airplane. She insists that she will be able to hand-carry her bag. I insist she won't. We've both hit the TSA website to figure out what she can and can't bring. I'm here to highlight some of the funnier and/or absurd ones for you.
You *can* bring small amounts of baby formula and/or breast milk. It doesn't say anything about the boobies that carry the breast milk. I assume you can bring those aboard. However, Easy-Cheeze, you're out. Peanut Butter, you're out, too. Both of you have been banished to the dungeon of the cargo hold. I'm not sure how you'll deal the low temperatures, and then subsequent thaw on the tarmac. Sorry, guys. You've lost, in favor of gel-filled bras. Jell-o, pudding, whipped cream, and jelly - banished! I think they're targeting people from the Midwest and Hawaii. No more passion-fruit jelly and guava jam for you (and me). Boo.
Also, people who want to join the mile-high club couldn't possibly be terrorists. Want to know how I know? Because you can take up to 4 oz. of KY Jelly. That's right, folks. Up to four ounces of that wonderful, lubricating stuff. I wonder how much KY had to pay TSA for this. Does this mean that other types of lubricant are not allowed? I wonder if the security people take a literal reading of the TSA guidebook. One would assume they do.
Just to spell it out for you, none of the following are allowed in carry-on, OR checked luggage:
Blasting Caps
Dynamite
Fireworks
Flares
Hand Grenades
Plastic Explosives
Oh, and don't forget to take those comfy gel-inserts out of your shoes and into your luggage. Those are banished, too.
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2 comments:
Hmm, good to know about the gel inserts, as I almost always wear them inside my shoes, and I'll be travelling in Oct. Damn everyone.
Just as the no gels, no liquids story was breaking a friend came from Boston for a visit. Anyway, he lands no problems whatsoever. That night we go out, he puts on a jacket that he hadn't worn since the 4th of July. He discovers that the entire flight he had firecrackers with him. Way to go Logan Int'l security!
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